I....seriously miss you...

so..

lesson learnt:

always treasure the times you get to spend together.

im hoping for something that shouldnt happen...

how pathetic...

ms oh! dont bully me! D:

and i know youre reading this xD

yes

i like to bottle things up.

not that i wan to, its just my nature.

the only way i can express myself well is through writing and typing.

nobody can change that.

and guess what.

theres only a handfull of people i can express myself properly.

3? 4? idk..

and the one i have been sharing my feelings with all along, gone now.

the one i used to share most things with...

at least i still have a few more friends...

but its never gonna be the same...

i'll just have to bottle more things up... i guess...

i should consider being a lesby one day...

i really should...

i dont wanna go to school.

it sucks.

now.

i wana hide in one corner of the world and be totally alone.

SS test..

i havent freaking studied the format

chiong tmr

idk

i'll find my way

i might even stare blankly at the paper and flunk it who knows

i'll just... live through tmr...

hope that tmr goes well...

can i just stay out from school tmr?

i freaking hate my effing life

i should effing go and die.

no point keeping everything inside and expect things i want to happen

i cant even bloody make my own decisions for my self.

no effing choice i can make at all

what the freaking hell is this

this is NOT my definition of MY LIFE.

ugh

can i have a month holiday?

so that i can hide indoors all day and cry..

teng, thanks for accompanying me...

really appreciate it...

i finally laughed smiled talked ...

hope tmr will be a fine day..

choir...

oh god...

please dont make me break down in front of everyone...

my bloody eyes are bloody swollen and it bloody hurts like hell

hope youre writing on the scrapbook...

remember to write every now and then...

somebody

pass me a blade

thankew

i need help..

serious help...

i cant take it...

its only one day and im half dead already..

stupid

irritating

annoying

freak

UGHHHHH!!!

I HATE THIS!

okay

so

im the stupid

irritating

annoying

freak

crazy

useless

whatever

UGHHH sick of this

I

wanna kill myself.

i hate this world.

i hate me.

i hate the things happening around me.

conclusion : i should die.

why?

because

i am threatened.

i am forced to break up.

i am forced to forget someone that mean so much to me.

i am forced to not talk to that person.

i am forced to lose another friend. as if i have so many friends -.-

i am forced to lose a BEST friend.

i am forced to lose a good listener.

i am forced to lose someone i enjoy being with.

i am forced to not contact that person in any ways.

i am forced to lose someone a can rant all day with.

i am forced to lose someone that understands me most.

i am forced to lose someone that cares about me.

i am forced to lose someone i care about.

i am forced to lose someone i shared good memories with.

i am forced to lose someone i can complain all day to.

i am forced to do all these so that i can stay in this stupid school.

WHAT THE HECK IS THE WORLD TURNING INTO?

are you trying to teach us that threatening is the right thing to do?

i have MY OWN RIGHTS to make MY OWN DECISIONS.

everyone else can, why cant I?

why specifically me?!

im starting to get along with studying hard and spending less time together.

i already WANT to study hard!

i just want someone to accompany me!

i just need that someone to be there for me!

i've already lost 2 best friends. now you want me to lose one more. as if it doesnt hurt enough!

you dont understand me at all! so just let me do what i think is right!

i NEED that someone...

i really do...

i cant stop crying and sobbing...

why the heck must it always be like this?!

arent we distant enough already?!

is that not enough for you?!

we only get to see each other in school during breaks and after school!

what else do you want to take away from me?!

i'll give you my life if thats what you want.

there's no point living anymore with all these crap

im just forced to do things i dont like.

whats the point of living.

im just another controlled robot.

i dont get to do things my way.

what the heck

im sick of this already.

ughhhhh

im done.

gonna vent more anger later...

omg

i suddenly feel the urge to learn hiphop

but sadly

i know im not flexible enough ._.

haiz...

its just so damn coolllll!!!! :O

so much for HAPPY valentines day -.-

i am so not happy today -.-

why the fck am i living in this world..?

i should be somewhere in outerspace now..

i hate this world

i hate my life

i hate me

i hate everything

done

whoever that created me just wanted me to suffer.

hello this is MY life!

i want to control my OWN life!

i have the rights to control my life

i have the rights to have privacy

so please do not invade my freaking privacy?!

its not like i dont have a freaking brain to make a freaking decision right!

cant you just let me be a normal teen?!

ughhhh

one day i might really have a major breakdown and commit a freaking suicide.

you never know.

i dont think i can ever trust you anymore.

seriously.

talking behind my back. whatever.

valentines day is tmr...

how amazing...

today...?

13th feb

kept jumping out of my bed, being too excited ><

kept waking up ><

chionged out as fast as i could!

rushrushrush!

being so super happy :)

went Kovan mrt :D

:3 saw what i wanted to see

smiled so awkwardly ><

cuz you probably messed up my nervous system ><

took mrt to orchard! :D got out of mrt! SUPER HOT!

walkwalkwalk...

searched for Tanglin Mall for around 1 hour? xD

walkwalkwalk

like retards, cannot find xD

asked concierge

finally got the direction XD

went into super awkward mall ><

why awkward? cuz mostly angmohs ><

ordered too much xD in the end too full xD

too full so decided to go home cuz too lazy to walk around

now going to watch Chingay parade! :D

bye! :D

i miss you... :(

omg so tired ><

went to chinatown after steamboat dinner ><

nothing much to see cuz today first day of new year -.-

then walkwalkwalk ended up at little india xD

went to find this super big shopping mall near city square mall ><

walkwalkwalkwalk

finally found it ><

walk awhile then left

rushed back cuz scared bus service end before we can catch it back home ><

rushrushrush

back home! :D

so freaking tired now ><

wore my new awesome shirt! :D

tmr going sentosa! yay! :D

im back! XD

hmmm nothing much to talk about... ._.

its cny! and im not quite excited

only excited because its cny therefore there is holiday, cny therefore new clothes! XD holiday therefore can slack, can go out, can paint nails blahblah xD

my nails are blood red with a shiny little star on each nail! both fingers and toes! :D to match the cny mood xP

last night went to angmo, the people there lelong cny cookies xP SUPER CHEAP! everyone basically helped the clear stock xD the fridges were totally empty! closing til next tues D: how to survive? xD

yesterday had lunch at pasta mania, ate super nice chocolate cake! its hot! :D chocolatechocolate! :D

went to pei u cut hair! super nice kay! except the bangs abit too short xP ITS NICE! IM TELLING YOU! SERIOUS!

newyearnewyear... stay in sg do what ><

had super nice steamboat dinner :D so much food xD the stupid steamboat pot damn fail, in the end use rice cooker xD

yay! wear new clothes tmr! :D but i look hideous -.- everyone go back msia d... :( so sien... :(

i wan angpaosssssss ><

valentines day coming very soon :) cant wait :D

maybe we should share cost and buy roses for sop juniors xD

i need to plan on my gift + surprise too! >:| brainstormbrainstorm .-.

wan a very good surprise! :D

xD bigbigrose xD funny xP embarrass you xD

im so full now i think im gonna puke ><

FOUR DAYS! I SHALL TAHAN! i did it for 1 mth ><><

but... :( ah fine ._.

might be going chinatown later ><><

nvm xD

anyway

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE! :D