Stress

Why is it that no one believes that I have stress?? It really kills me when I tell someone that I really have stress but that person doesn’t believe and even makes fun or insult me saying that I have some other kind of stress??? I just don’t understand!!!

I really hate it when I am telling the truth and nobody believes that it is true! Like that day, I said that I really have no time to do the compo which is not compulsory. I said that I have lots of subjects to study and cope with and that person doesn’t believe at all! It is just that I think in this situation, I need to pull up all my other subjects and keep them on track. Just that I think at this time, I need to really study hard for subjects that t needs to be memorized and put down languages first. To me, languages cannot be studied last minute. At this time, when EOY is end of this week, the only way to cope in my languages is to read passages and NOT only writing!

What’s the use of only writing? You need to read and learn new vocabs from other people’s writing and gather ideas from other passages, not just write and only knowing what you have already know. The reason why I don’t wanna write is because I think it’s a waste of time! When you write, you need time to think for a stupid idea just to write a stupid essay. I would rather sit down, and read passages and learn more things from others’ writing! Can’t anybody just understand the reason why I don’t wanna write??

Is it that I want to follow my point of view, my attitude is bad? Is it that I don’t feel like talking in class, my attitude is bad?? Is it that I want to follow my own schedule and study, my attitude is bad??? Is it that I want to focus on other subjects that I am weaker in, my attitude is bad???? Is it that making my own decision, my attitude is bad?????

I just don’t understand! Can’t you just give me some space to do what I think is right? Can’t I learn to be more independent and make my own decision?? I must learn how to do things myself now. Especially when the EOY is coming. I cannot just focus on 1 stupid subject which I don’t like. It will just worsen it and make I would probably be the last position! I might even be kicked out of scholarship!

I really want to make my own decision. When I say I want to do it, I will do it. When I say I can do it, I will try my best to achieve it. I know I don’t look like I like to study, neither do I look like a genius. To you , I’m probably a person that don’t care about studies and only want to go for shopping or games or what so ever. But I believe in myself that I can do it. I will try my very best to really achieve my promise to Ms Yap – the lowest position I will go is 100. But I want to change my mind. Not change it to 150 but change my goal to 80 or 50. And I am serious with this. Please don’t look down on me… -_-